Tabloids are jacking themselves off over Heather “gone through the” Mills McCartney

Listening to Radio 1 this morning, Chris Moyles spouted off at length about Heather Mills McCartney, though to be fair, he had a point. As much as stories like this are about as interesting and alluring to me as a fart in a car, Moyles was right. If she’s not that bothered about money, then why didn’t she just ask for enough to support the kid and that’s it?

I thought about this question for around, I don’t know, 2 minutes, before realising a grander truth. I don’t care and nor should you. Why? Because it’s fucking boring and it’s nothing to do with us. McCartney was known, is known, will be known and should only be known for one thing. The Beatles. Not his private life. To speculate, as I catch myself doing on occasion, is to stoop as low as the lowest common denominator. Which is pretty sickening, as such a human is generally to be found flicking through….yep! You guessed it! My fave rag. The Hate Fucking Mail. (A disgusting xenophobic rag that ought to be curtailed for its spread of hate, bigotry and pointless non-news). Yet I digress.

My overall point in this article is simply to levy a much deserved dig at the maestros of the gutteroid press. Including that wanker Max Clifford. I heard him too on the radio this morning, funnily enough, going on about how Mills is stitching herself by giving the tabloids what they want. A reason to attack. Ammo. She attacks them, they attack back 1,000 times more and win. Winning is the only outcome for the scum bag tabloid media.

Who the hell do these proprietors and editors think they are? That they can merrily swing agendas, ruin peoples’ lives and act as Lord and Master over all? Not that I give a flying shit about McCartney. Anyone who can expect a minimum of £25 million quid in a divorce settlement is about as pitiful and sympathy-vote deserving as a Sultan who flies into Vegas for a shopping, whoring and gambling binge whilst having forgotten to pack his toothbrush. Yet the point stands. The media are drunk and bloated on power and influence, pretending all the while that they have a legal and moral basis for the tat they spout and the rumours and lies and scandal and smears they spread by pumping out that tired auld line “freedom of speech”. Or the other one, “fair comment”, or perhaps if they’re really stuck, “public interest factor”.

Would there be a public interest factor if they didn’t feed humans’ worst instincts to begin with? Stir up salacious bollocks and the excited minds of bored, insecure housewives from Surrey? My guess? At least much, much less. But that’s another article.

The gutter rags and mags are arrogant. They need taking down a peg and reminding why they are in business. To provide worthy, vaguely morally upstanding information and news. Not the sort of shite we read every day in piss stained wank rags like the Hate Mail, which is essentially a carefully designed attack on various groups in order to make small minded insecure people feel happy at the expense of the next victim. The Press Complaints Commission is so toothless, it resembles a 100 year old World War 1 Vet more than a media oversight body. Without meaning to challenge freedom of speech, I believe the press ought to be reigned in from acting in such arrogant and aggressive ways towards individuals, no matter how unsympathetic they may be. It’s meaningless and vacuous and good to no-one. Really, apart from when it’s in the public interest, if there’s nothing good these rags can say about anyone, then don’t say anything at all.

Unless you’re Boatang and Demetriou, in which case, you rule over all for all eternity.

Amen to us.